I sometimes find myself in awe of everything around me. The world seems full of possibilities and I can vividly picture the perfect future that is just within grasp. In this state of euphoria, I can find beauty in practically anything. I question how I could ever question the meaning of it all. It seems pointless to question meaning when it is seemingly everywhere, just waiting to be discovered.
However, more often than not, the feeling of awe gives way to the weight of feeling utterly overwhelmed. I feel powerless in what feels like an endlessly complicated, incomprehensible world. My instinct is to repent on my lack of discipline. Perhaps I just have to try harder to take control of my life. I look around and observe others much less fortunate than me that don’t have the luxury to feel overwhelmed. It almost seems ungrateful to feel powerless and to do nothing about it. I remind myself that I should have some perspective. I feel guilty for having pitied myself and go back to everyday life. I’ll probably look back at these thoughts and recall them as insignificant.